* I got mugged and was tied to the steering wheel of my car. * My deodorant was frozen to the window sill. * My car door fell off. * It was too windy. * I dreamt I was already at work. * I had to go to the hospital because I drank antifreeze. * I had an early morning gig as a clown. * A roach crawled in my ear. * I saw an elderly lady at a bus stop and decided to pick her up. * My dog swallowed my cell phone.